Why do I let people do this to me?

Feeling sorry for myself right now. My ex got in touch after over a year with no contact and gave me the impression that we might start up again. Only for him to change his mind a couple of days later (after I made him a lovely dinner and we got intimate). It's really knocked my confidence and I'm so angry with my self and him. I'm too vulnerable for s**t like this. I should have stayed well away from him. Should have protected myself better.

Creativity is just not happening, have 12 crochet granny squares to complete after doing 4 over the last couple of weeks. I have yet another half finished project to add to the millions of others.

Still job hunting, no more interviews yet, but not giving up.

Thankful for my best friend and my brother, who have been giving me lots of support as always. Lucky to have them.

My sister is enjoying Trinidad, kids also. They're moving into a house soon with it's own pool, half hour's drive to the beach. They played in the sea today even though it was raining, its still so warm. I'm so jealous. Can't wait to get out there and experience it for myself.

Not doing much as usual and feeling very low in energy. Don't feel down, down, down (like in the abyss), but do feel depressed, not helped by what my ex has recently done.

When will this end?....